Collision
by Insane Pocky Addict
Summary: Something is up with Shawn, and Cory is determined to find out what. CoryShawn.
1. I'm confused

Shawn sat across from me on my bed, nimble, practiced fingers twirling a baseball around his hands

Shawn sat across from me on my bed, nimble, practiced fingers twirling a baseball around his hands. His brown hair fell in loose locks around his face, eyes lost in another world that I wasn't a part of. I had offered to let him stay over my house for the night, but he had yet to say anything. "Shawn?" I finally asked. No response. "Shawn. You in there?" I tapped his shoulder with my hand in an attempt to get a response. "What cory, what?" He sighed, not turning around. "Are you okay?" I already knew the answer before he spoke, what had been his reflex for the past few years.

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Look at me and say that."

"Why should I?"

"Then you're not okay, Shawn." I sat next to him, placing an arm around his shoulders. He shivered, finally looking at me.

"Please don't do that." His face was hurt, broken. I took my arm off, but refused to give up. If there was a way I could help him, I was determined to find out how.

"Shawnzie... you know I'm here for you. I always have been, and I always will be. But I can't help if you don't tell me what's going on.

"You're in love with Topanga." He stated matter-of-factly.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It means you can't help me! You have the love of your life. You're not stuck here waiting for him to finally realize that you two are supposed to be together forever. You're not stuck here watching him fall in love with some girl that is totally wrong for him. Some girl that can never know him as well as you do, and wouldn't know what was best for him if it punched her in her god-damned nose!"

"I'm confused..."

"And you think I'm not? I mean godDAMN."

"Are you gay, Shawn?" I was completely lost. Was that what he was trying to tell me? And who was this guy he was watching? What did this have to do with Topanga? I felt my eyebrows knit together as I tried to decipher what he was saying. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb, eyes closing as he took a deep breath.

"That doesn't matter right now."

"Well then what does matter?"

"Nevermind, Cor. Nevermind."

"No, really." I prodded. I almost had him. Almost. "It's no big deal. There's nothing you can do, I was stupid to even bring it up." "Fine then. We will just have to sit here until you are willing to talk about it." I sat next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You don't want to do that, Cory. You don't."

"Do what?"

"Get this close to me. I'm loosing my self control as it is." He grimaced, tossing his shoulder back and letting my hand fall off.

"What, you want to hit me?" Come on, do it." I put my hands on his shoulders, face a few inches away from his. "Right here," I pointed at my face. "I can take it. Bring it on."

"No, Cor. It's not that. I won't hit you."

"If it will make you feel better then go right ahead. I'm ready." I closed my eyes and waited for impact. I could hear his hand lift off the bed but instead of it hitting with my face I felt it land on the back of my head and push it forwards, another pair of lips colliding with mine.


	2. It's ten thirty, mister matthews

I pulled away immediately, pushing Shawn's hand down

I pulled away immediately, pushing Shawn's hand down. "Holy fucking shit Shawn! What the hell?" "Well, I was right." I heard him mutter to himself, a forlorn look taking over his features. But still in total shock, I stood up and walked out of the room, down the stairs, and out of the house. My mind was racing at 120 miles an hour, the thoughts passing through before I could comprehend them. Did Shawn really like me? As more than a friend? The thought was incomprehensible, but it was still a possibility. Hence the talk about the guy he was watching.. and the girl.. holy shit. It finally clicked, and I sprinted to Feeny's house, pounding on the door when I finally reached it "FEENY! FEEENNNNYYYY! OPEN UP!" There was a click and the door opened to reveal that face I had come to rely on. That of a seasoned old man, the one who had lived next door and had been helping me out for as long as I could remember.  
"Mister Matthews, do you realize what time it is?"  
"Yeah, ten thirty."  
"And most of the world is asleep. Do I want to know why you're not?"  
"Shawn was sleeping over."  
"Well, isn't that nice. I take it you want some more advice?" He sighed, fixing his robe.  
"Well... my friend is in love with one of the most wonderful girls in the world. But he just found out that one of his other friends, a very, very good friend.. likes him. As more than a friend. And he wants to let hi..her down gently, but yet he doesn't because he's not even positive of his own feelings for the other friend and what if he likes them? Then he would have dumped them for no good reason and that would... awh fuck it Feeny, help me!" "Language, mister Matthews." He adjusted his glasses.  
"Sorry."  
"Well, maybe your friend should explore his feelings for his other friend, the one he just found out likes him. And see if it's something he wants to get into or not. That's the wisest decision."  
"Okay, I'll tell him."  
"Now I would prefer it if you didn't knock on my door at ten thirty any more mister Matthews."  
"Oh I won't. Goodnight." I turned around and left, not wanting to go up to my room until I knew what do do about Shawn. So he liked me. That was evident. I mean, god damn it, he kissed me! I sat down on the couch swing on the deck, hands supporting my head. And I thought. I thought back to all the times I had shared with Shawn, all the things I had felt for him. Same with Topanga. There was that time where Jennifer had kept Shawn and I apart... it nearly killed me. The very thought that I wouldn't be able to see him, even for a few minutes, was deadly. I had come to rely on him, and I couldn't live without him. That's why we set up that secret meeting in the library. Topanga, on the other hand, when we had broken up a few times, I was perfectly fine. As long as Shawn was around. He was able to hold together my sanity, piece me back together with some well-placed words and comforting arms. Without him I wouldn't be able to survive. I wasn't sure at the time if it was love I was feeling, but I sure as hell didn't know why I was sitting out there, letting him get away.

**A/N: there will probably be one more chapter after this, but I'm not sure. If I don't post it tomorrow, (7/26) I'll post it when I get back from camp in a week. But I know how I will end it so… :**

**Reviews are really appreciated.**


	3. Throwing Shadows

I raced back up to my room, feet carrying me faster than I thought possible

I raced back up to my room, feet carrying me faster than I thought possible. But when I opened the door, I was too late. The window was slightly ajar, showing that he had used that as his means of escape, a light wind chilling the room. I ran over and stuck my head out the window. "SHAWN. SHAWN, COME BACK. I'M SORRY... PLEASE. Shawn..." I waited a minute, but there was no brunette boy climbing back up into my window. Just the wind causing the curtains to rustle, throwing shadows onto the wall. "Dammit." I muttered, pulling my jacket on. I had to go and find him. Attempting to sleep right now would be pointless, especially when he could be anywhere by now. So I walked back downstairs and outside, careful not to wake the rest of my family. The streets were cold and, of course dark, considering it was nearing eleven thirty at this point. I turned up my collar against the cold, but it did little good as the plummeting temperatures bit my exposed skin. I first went over to Turner's house, but he was no help. Shawn hadn't been home at all after school. Of course, he offered to help me search, but if I found him I needed to say things Turner couldn't be there for. So I denied.

Eventually, after searching everywhere he could possibly be, I thought of the most obvious place. Chubbies. I ran over and found the door slightly ajar, allowing me to climb in. Sure enough there Shawn sat, in our favorite booth. His head was laid on the table, his chest rising and falling at an unnatural pace. "Shawn." When I finally spoke, it was in more of a choked whisper than a natural tone. He looked up. "Great. You're here. Exactly what I fucking need right now." He sighed, the words hiding behind a sarcastic tone. He stood up, and I quietly walked to him until we were standing a few feet apart.

"So. Get it over with." He threw his arms out, letting them fall back to his sides.

"Get what over with?"

"I know what you're thinking. You're going to say that it was all a mistake and you don't want anything to change between us because I'm still your best friend. But you don't like me that way, because you're not gay and it goes against your religion or some shit like that."

"Or some shit like that?" I mused, letting a smile creep onto my face. "But honestly, Shawn. Apparently you don't know me as well as you thought you did."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Because that wasn't what I was going to say at all." I shuffled my feet, trying to keep from getting nervous. But every time I looked at him the words stuck in my throat and I couldn't speak at all.

"Shawn... I don't hate you. In-fact I realized that I.. I can't live without you. This may sound like a load of bullshit but I've realized tonight that all my life it has been you. You've been the one I've loved, not Topanga. It has always been you and it always will be." I was able to look at him now, and saw a few tears dripping down his face. He said nothing but instead came over and gave me a huge hug, my body fitting perfectly into his own. Call it cliché, but when he kissed me then it was as if nothing else in the world existed. It was me and Shawn and if anybody had a problem with it they could go die. "I love you."

**A/N: despite popular belief (Or what I think will be popular belief…) this is not the end! I'll probably post a few more chapters on the after-get-together of my all time favorite couple. But those will have to wait a week because I am going to camp! I will be back next Saturday though, and I'll try to have a new one up Saturday night. **


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